Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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