hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
