his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
