It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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