The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
