Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
