Please, let me fuck your mom
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
