planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
