i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
