You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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