i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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