If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i believe in u and ur pee
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
