careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
