I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
