____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
