you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
