ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Drunk is not a location!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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