well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
