I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you had me at cake vodka
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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