At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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