i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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