Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
