Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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