i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
