I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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