Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think your dad took our porno
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
