I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
