Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
