You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
