All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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