I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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