i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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