that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
