Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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