i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
