grandma shit on top of the toilet
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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