I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
