I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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