Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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