She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
