she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
