When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
