If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
