why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
