you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize