I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
