So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
