So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
