Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So much rum. So many feels.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
