dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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