Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm just crazy horny about you
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
