Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize