um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm always down for nudity.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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