i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
