and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
