the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
