she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
