my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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